Twilight: Hee, heh, haha, now let’s get all intellectual and shit.

September 15, 2008 at 2:48 pm (misc.) (, , , , , , )

Yeah, I know, it’s a really weird title.


So there’s this book series called Twilight that is touted as the next Harry Potter. Which is kind of true, now that HP’s done, these are the immensely popular fantasy books, although their audience is mostly female and they aren’t nearly as popular with the geek crowd.


For people who don’t know much about it, there’s this girl called Bella Swan [yes, author Stephanie Meyer did just call her main character Beautiful Swan, snerk] who moves to a rainy little town to live with her estranged father. There, she finds everything totally boring and subpar except for a ridiculously attractive boy called Edward and on a lesser level, his ridiculously attractive family. Who all turn out to be vampires, because apart from giving them heaps of superpowers, vamping makes someone amazingly beautiful – where can I sign up for this? Of course, they’re good vampires who feed only on animal blood and glitter like a little girl’s fairy doll – I am not making that up, I swear to god. Anyway, Bella and Edward then engage in Twu Luv 4eva and eva and eva. And also angst about a lot.


Now, for whatever reason, these books have the amazing gift of causing hilarious parodies and really interesting discussion. So, here’s the best stuff I’ve found, in my order of preference.

Head Trip – Short comic strip take on Bella and Edward. Great art, some excellent facial expressions, some excellent smackdowns. I love this so much I have it printed out and stuck to my wall

ETA: There’s another one! There! Is! ANOTHER ONE! Once I’m back at school with access to a colour printer, that one is going right up on the wall too!

Growing Up Cullen – Some brilliant conversations between two girls where they speculate on what happened during Edward’s decades as an asexual living in a house with three couples. Especially Emmett and Rosalie.

Smart Bitches, Trashy Books – Great article discussing Edward’s role as an Alpha Male. A must read.

The Little Corner – This is a very well written rant from the POV that Edward is abusive. And yes, most of the examples in the article were supposedly in Bella’s best interests, in some way, but I find it equally if not more screwed up that he is displaying this abusive pattern of behaviour and the books are trying to justify it by making it “because he loves her,” or “for her own good.”

Cleolinda – Very snarky, very awesome recaps of all the books, [the others are there if you scroll down] not much else to say.

Washington Post review – For Breaking Dawn. Mostly talks about exactly what squicks them out. It’s made of win.

Torchwood crossover fanfic – I don’t usually read or like fanfic [perhaps that’s why I don’t think much of the books, heh] but I love this. Rest assured that it is making fun of the books, and it’s not taking Torchwood all that seriously either. Jack’s reaction to the sparkling is amazing. And I bet he’d find the pillow biting kinky too.

Otahyoni – Review, a catalogue of all the times different stuff happened [Bella is dazzled ect.] and a parody fic. Epic win.

Fangirl Bella – Basically, Bella being completely honest with Edward about her feelings for him, fairly early on. Given the level of her obsession, it’s really very amusing.

Angry Fangirl – This is a fan of the books who loved Breaking Dawn, and got so mad at the other fans who didn’t love it that she decided to put a video up about it. It’s so funny, in a Chris Crocker sort of way. I mean, unless you didn’t find him funny either, but I’m not at that stage of maturity yet. I were Stephanie Meyer, I would actually be really embarrassed that someone like this was defending my books, and in such an irrational and pigheaded manner. This isn’t really funny because of Twilight, Angry Fangirl could be doing it about frakkin’ Shakespeare and it would still be just as amusing. Also, it’s neither a parody or discussion. But it’s so enjoyable I put it on the list anyway.

Kadath’s recap – Chapters 1-5, 67, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12 and 13. There’s still a lot of snark but this is more serious fare than Cleolinda; much longer, too. I don’t agree with everything they’ve put here, but even the points I disagree on are interesting and well-presented, it’s definetly worth reading if you have the patience.

Salon review – Very interesting, in depth take on the books. It takes a few paragraphs to get to the actual review, so maybe skim at first. The bit about the fandom using words like “obsession,” and “addiction,” and the books being like a drug addiction is OTT, and every fandom has a lot of people using those words. But other than that, it’s good.

Harry Potter vs. Twilight – Explains why Harry pwns Edward. This goes a long way towards redeeming Harry’s jerkiness in the last three books. And for Ginny being somewhat of a Mary Sue.

MS Paint Comic Spoof – I don’t find the dialogue all that funny, but the artists renderings of Bella and Edward are awesome. As is the panel where they kiss.

Jezebal reviewThis discusses the lack of consequences in Breaking Dawn.


What did you think of any parodies and articles you looked at? Spill in the comments.


My parodies are coming. Hopefully some will be written and posted sometime over the next two days.



  1. haleygirl said,

    I really enjoyed all of the books. I think they were extremely well written. I don’t think any books can compare to Harry Potter, but I do think these are some of the best books I have read. Have you read them?

  2. missbittens said,

    The first one and the Midnight Sun chapters put up on Meyer’s website. I’d like to read the rest when I can.
    The big advantage HP has IMO is that Harry’s world is so richly textured and detailed. Every character, environment and any important objects are mapped out quite nicely and given a feel to them, which remains for as long as they’re in the books.
    Twilight properly does one environment – Forks as a whole – a couple of objects, and most of the characters… but not, ironically, Edward. We get many descriptions of his beauty, but his personality is somewhat hard to pick.
    Given that they’re both wish fulfillment series [though Twilight is less subtle about it] I think that is very important, so the reader can imagine themselves into that world better.

  3. jenn said,

    I ❤ the books… i actually just got a shirt too, from what do you think? this is the one i got:

    anyways… cant wait for the movie yay 🙂

  4. missbittens said,

    It would be a cool shirt to have while holding a fork like they are in the pics.

  5. SYONA said,


    Ha; ha. haha. Um, I actually am hopelessly addicted to Twilight. I mean, it sucks, but I CAN’T STOP READING IT OH GOD SAVE ME FROM THE SPARKLES AND THE DAZZLING AND WHATNOT.

    Edward and Bella’s relationship literally creeps me out. I mean, in theory, who wouldn’t want a sparkly guy to marry them? On the other hand, all they talk about is the fact that he’s a vampire and/or the fact that they are SO IN LOVE EVEN THOUGH BELLA IS SOOOOO NORMAL AND HE IS SOOOO HOT AND SPARKLYYYYYYY.

    Give me Jacob Black any day. At least he has a semi personality, for chrissakes.

  6. missbittens said,

    That’s okay, I’m hopelessly addicted too. To the crappiness of it. You know how sometimes you watch/read something because it’s so bad it’s funny, or because it’s so bad you just can’t look away from the epic suck? It’s like a mix of those two. I have spent so much time looking up parodies and rants.

    Sparklepire and Bella’s relationship creeps me out because he broke into her house every night to watch her sleep and she was pleased when she found out. I simply can’t believe someone actually wrote that shit and thought it was romantic. I can’t believe millions of people agree.

  7. colleen said,

    idk if you would like this, but here is a twilight parody link

  8. colleen said,

    sorry, here is is!

    clicking on my name works too!

  9. aierimK said,

    Well, i am addicted too… but i dont think Stephenie Meyer did that great job writting tthe books, i mean despite of all the fame and blah blah blah, they are not that well written, she got better – practice makes perfect- but still, i think everybody is making fun of the ‘characteristics’, ‘features’ whatever she gave to the vampires… i did too…(seriously, i laughed like 10 straight min when i found out vampires sparkled)… but then i realized this is just a story, fantasy, people, we believe that vampires have fangs, disolve with sun, sleep in coffins… but that`s just plain fantasy too… just because stephenie meyer had another idea of what this fantastic characters should be, doesnt make her less competent, or make her book less ‘good’… (although i still think is ridiculous hahah) give her some credit for that, its kind of like… stepping out of the box… and i seriuosly think she did not have the intention to write such a love story with and alpha male figure… but thats just a good theory… well bottom line… its just a story, fantasy… fiction…. deal with it… bottom line… who ever wrote this made my day… hahaha i laughed a lot… =)….

    *sorry for my spelling and grammar… english isn`t my mother language but i try to do my best..

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