Harry Potter trailer.

July 31, 2008 at 3:54 am (movies) (, )

The teaser trailer for Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince is officially up! Dundundundundun!

IMO it was fairly good, as cool as it was to see WeeVoldy, I could have done with a bit less of him and a bit more of other stuff.

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Dr Horrible

July 18, 2008 at 4:19 pm (misc.) (, , , , )

I previously posted on webisode musical Dr Horrible’s Sing A Long Blog and why it was so cool. The second act is even better, but maybe it’s time for a different tack. Here’s what other people think of Dr Horrible. If it gets you interested, you can watch the actual thing here. Remember, they’re taking it down after this weekend, so act fast.

Television Without Pity staff member has joined the cult of Joss Whedon. This is the one who normally hates musicals, btw. Just so you know.

In fact, it’s so good they decided to recap it despite it not really being a TV show.

It’s No.1 on iTunes and was on the front page of the LA Times site.

The LA Times also gave a review.

Kristin on E! tells y’all that you will cry if you miss it.

Another glowing review from the TV Guide.

I haven’t seen a single negative review. Everyone thinks it’s fantastic.

Trailer

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Dr Horrible’s Sing-A-Long Blog – Act 1.

July 16, 2008 at 7:42 am (misc.) (, , , , , )

I watched Dr Horrible’s Sing-A-Long Blog! Act 1! I couldn’t watch it as early as I’d have liked since I had school and the video wouldn’t work there – I was trying all through tutorial. But I got home and watched it, and now I’ve seen it! Because it’s a musical starring Neil Patrick Harris and Nathan Fillion! Written by Joss Whedon, who is my absolute god of television! Yaaaaaaaayyyy!

Okay. The first few minutes could have been a little funnier, I think, but things really pick up when Captain Hammer gets mentioned. That’s when Dr Horrible switches from being cute to being very cute. Then he reads an article asking who this girl he always talks about is, and he switches from being very cute to making a bunch of baby animals [ones rolling about in a field of flowers, no less] look like Micheal Jackson’s face, or a Brenda pet. As awesome as he is on How I Met Your Mother, my love for Neil Patrick Harris just doubled.

Oh, and that’s when the singing starts too. The songs are very catchy, the leads have pleasant voices that mesh well with each other,  and all three of them are good at conveying emotion through the singing – particularly NPH. It’s the first time I’ve seen Nathan Fillion playing a jerk, and he does it like a champ. Felicia Day is pretty cute herself and a very good singer. Overall it was a very enjoyable experience. I was worried for those first few minutes that it wouldn’t live up to my expectations, but it definetly made up for that later. I am so getting the DVDs.

Check it out at www.drhorrible.com. Comment your thoughts away below, or put it in your own blog [though please post the link in the comments if you that, I really wanna see what you guys thought] whatever makes you happy.

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Texas Chainsaw Massacre review.

July 15, 2008 at 2:23 am (movies) (, , , )

I’ve been watching a lot of horror movies as of late, and there’s a DVD shop I found recently which has all these older ones on DVD. So I rented three. Would have gotten more, but my dad made me put them back so he could rent things like Robin Williams Live On Broadway. Because who wouldn’t want to see that for two hours? Anyway, I want to review those three. First up, the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

 

Texas Chainsaw Massacre: I was expecting this to be only scary. It was scary, like when he put that girl on the hook or when he was chasing Sally around through the dead trees. I liked how unrelenting the sound was in that chase scene, the chainsaw or her screaming never stopped. It kept going on and on and on and on for ages… I think that’s a better choice than to make everything quiet for thirty seconds in order to try and elicit a jump scare. And including a creepy house [or some other building, if it’s done well] is always good to scare me, although I don’t think that was as frightening as it could have been. Even in that room with all the bones, I could have done without spending five minutes on close-ups of them all, it was overkill. Still, it worked in some of the other scenes. The other thing that was really frightening was the old guy. He looks like a corpse, and I thought he was one until he started squirming while sucking her blood. Finding out he was alive was quite a shock, most scary part in the whole movie for me.

 

So here’s what I wasn’t expecting. Apart from being scary, it was also quite funny and awesome. Like, Leatherface and his family? Funny and awesome. So very, very funny and awesome. It’s ‘cause they’re so weird. They’re weird in a funny and awesome way. For example, putting icons of horror history in an old lady wig and having them cooking and talking in a high voice while still wearing their mask made of other people’s faces. That’s something you might see in a spoof looking for a cheap laugh, but rarely do you see this kind of stuff in the freaking source material. But he still works later on when they want him to be scary again. The hitchiker’s scene was so great as well, he kept doing stuff like slicing his own hand or lighting things on fire – while doing the hillbilly laugh – as the group got increasingly freaked out.

 

Then there’s the after-dinner scene. They decide they should stop messing around and kill Sally already, by smashing her head in with a hammer. And Gramps, who can barely move remember, should do the killing. So Leatherface gets a big metal tub and sets it in front of Gramps’ chair. Hillbilly hitchhiker unties her and pulls her over to kneel over the tub. She’s struggling, but can’t break his hold. Leatherface carefully places the hammer so it’s upright in Gramps’ hand. Gramps drops it. Leatherface picks it up and carefully places it so it’s upright in Gramps’ hand. Gramps drops it. Leatherface picks it up and carefully places it so it’s upright  in Gramps’ hand. Gramps drops it. By this stage, it has ceased to be scary and become funny. By the fifth time, it was hilarious. By the ninth time, it was so uproariously hilarious my mum came in to see what was going on. Eventually, with Leatherface guiding his arm, he gets a hit in…  Right before she finally gets away from the hitchhiker and runs off. Poor Gramps just can’t catch a break.

 

It’s really unfortunate that the remake decided to cut all of this stuff and tone the family’s wackiness way down. How much more enjoyable would that have been?

 

This movie had some damn good acting. The girl playing Sally gave a very convincing performance, and the character reacted to the situation as I imagine someone would realistically react. You know how in a lot of slasher movies the lead just doesn’t seem as scared as they should be? Not here, the writers and actress went all out, and it turned out really well. Props to them. The other standout here was the hillbilly hitchhiker. He helped make him such a wonderfully odd character. Like his strange earnest laughter and grin or his half-jumping half-dancing around when they kicked him out of the van. You know what would be awesome? A fake reality show where he went on a road trip with Torgo from “Manos” The Hands Of Fate, hitting bars, hopelessly attempting to flirt, going to LA. It would be legendarily epic.

 

+ The group’s freaked-out faces in the hitchhiker scene were great, they made that scene even more enjoyable. My favourite was Kirk’s wimpy face when the guy cut open his palm, it was like a scared little puppy. Say it with me – awwwwww.

 

+ In that scene where Sally tries to get help at the gas station, the guy tells her they can’t call the police because there’s no phone. As he says this, the wide shot shows there is, in fact, a blue phone on the wall behind them. It’s not pointed out or anything, it’s just subtly there, and when watching it I figured it was either a big mistake or a clever little reveal that he’s evil. Clever little reveal!

+ Points to Sally for immedietly figuring out what was going on when he came back in holding a sack and a rope and grabbing a big knife.

– Points taken away from Sally for being beaten up with a straw broom head despite being armed with the big knife.

+ Sally makes a habit of jumping through windows. Cool.

– Maybe I’m missing something, and correct me in the comments if I am, but when Sally and the truck driver got in the truck, why not just drive off? It would be safer than climbing out the other side and trying to run away.

+ However, the truck driver was pretty cool. He attacked a chainsaw wielding maniac with a wrench. And won.

+ Insane laughter while covered in blood is always fun.

+ And to end it, Leatherface dances with his chainsaw. Awesome.

 

ETA: How could I forget this bit? It was one of my favourite parts. So, after the third person has gone inside the group and gotten dismembered, Leatherface goes over to the window, looks out really frantically for a few seconds, then sits down with his head in his hands. He’s all “Where are all these people coming from? Are there any more? Ohh, man. Damn kids are really stressing me out.” Snerk. Makes me wonder if he’s maybe just extremely territorial.

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Clark got hired at the Daily Planet. Time to mock Smallville.

July 9, 2008 at 1:32 pm (Uncategorized) (, , )

I’ve got two more of the parodical Lines Never Said On Smallville. I like these ones a lot, I reckon the first is my favourite ever. They’re based on/inspired by the same two spoilers:

– When Clark returns to Metropolis, he’ll have a big surprise for Lois.

-[TV Guide] reveals what Clark’s surprise is for Lois: He’s taking the job at the Daily Planet, right across from her desk.

So the two skits below are kind of paired together on that, the first one is my cynical reaction and the other one is my idealistic reaction to the spoilers. Of course, since Smallville is such a piece of crap, the first one is much more realistic.

It’s about the constantly lowering standards at the Daily Planet, which was established for a long time to be a fantastic newspaper with the best reporters. It was Chloe’s dream job to work there, and the season that she got hired, it was living up to it’s reputation just fine from what we saw. It started going down a gentle slope in Season 6, and in Season Seven that slope turned into fucking Mount Everest, and from the sounds of those spoilers, Season 8 is determined to somehow sink it further.

Chloe:…And so that’s how you turn on SpellCheck. Couldn’t you have asked Lois this?
Clark: BOOBY NO KNOW*.
Lois: *from the desk across* Yeah, I don’t bother with any of that fancy details stuff. That’s what makes my reports so edgy.
Chloe: *forces a smile* Yes. Of course it is. I’ll see you later, Clark.
Clark: BYE BYE TINY BLONDE.

[Chloe leaves. As she is heading to the elevator, she hears something in a nearby supply closet and opens the door. It’s Kahn*. And booze.]

Kahn: Oh, Sullivan. It’s you.
Chloe: Uh huh.
Kahn: Haven’t seen you around so much.
Chloe: I was fired a several months ago.
Kahn: That’s right, I heard about that… Wait, why are you here then?
Chloe: Visiting a friend. So, what’s happening with you, in here?
Kahn: I was fired too. Hour ago.
Chloe: Oh. I’m really sorry.
Kahn: They’ve been on my back for ages… I didn’t want to hire a horny seventeen-year-old as an editor, I tried to get him to stop playing favourites with all the staff, I made an attempt at getting the Lane girl to follow procedure and stop acting like she’s still at The Inquisitor*… My bosses hated me for all that.
Chloe: Mm. Lois is my cousin, you know.
Kahn: Don’t try to defend her, you know it’s true.
Chloe: I won’t, I was just making the point that after she’s got everything I wanted by doing absolutely nothing, I still have to go home and see her. And act happy, or my bosses will capitalize on their threat of making me insane*.
Kahn: At least you didn’t have to read the reports she turns in. How exactly does one misspell “cat”?
Chloe: She says not using Spellcheck makes her reports edgy.
Kahn: Oh god.
Chloe: Yeah.
Kahn: Now Kent’s been hired too. That’s what they fired me for, I tried to stop it. Remember back when I hired you?
Chloe: Uh-huh.
Kahn: You’d been running your high school paper almost alone for years, gotten into an internship program here, worked towards being a reporter your whole life, right?
Chloe: Right.
Kahn: And it was still very unusual to hire you without a degree, but we had a job interview, you gave me an example of your work. It was sensationalist, but you had plenty of evidence-
Chloe: Wait, so did you know about all the strange things happening in Kansas?
Kahn: I was a top reporter then the editor-in-chief, don’t underestimate my knowledge of events again. Anyway, you had evidence, interviews, it was well written… So I let you in. Two years later, your cousin walks in, yells something about a UFO, and gets hired just like that. No proof, no education, no interview.
Chloe: The editor wanted to get some action from her. Mission successful.
Kahn: Here and now… Just look at them.
[Chloe opens the door a crack. Lois is giving Jimmy a lapdance. Clark is under the impression that his computer has a touchscreen and is poking at the already very splintered glass]
Kahn: How did we reach this stage of things?
Chloe: I have been finding that lately, fortune favours the stupid a little more each day.
Kahn: [snorts] You got that right.
Chloe: I should probably be going…
Clark: COMPOOTAR NO WORKY! ME FIX!
[Chloe and Kahn hear something smash]
Lois: [shouting] I’m off to the Ace of Clubs*! It’s Happy Hour and alcohol always makes me smarter!
Chloe: On the other hand, pass the booze. Alcohol always makes me stupid. Maybe for a few hours, I’ll be fortunate.

*1. This is what is nicknamed Neanderthal Clark, where his stupidity is exaggerated to the point that he acts and speaks much like a caveman.
*2. Kahn appeared as the Editor In Chief at the DP in S5. Although only in one episode, she is remembered for hiring Chloe at the DP and being portrayed by Carrie Fisher, AKA Princess Leia. I got the impression she was smart and good at her job, I needed someone who was very competent and a higher up at the Planet.
*3. The Inquisitor was a tabloid newspaper Lois was hired at when she brought them a story about her almost being hit by a flying barn door and they put it on the front page on the condition she change it to include aliens. Which sums up their standards aptly. Apart from one article for the school paper, this is her only experience in journalism.
*4. Lately, Chloe has become more of a cheerleader for the other characters than an actual person, and has been way too happy with the pieces of trash life has been throwing at her [getting fired from dream job, getting arrested by FBI, douchebag of a boyfriend] She is also a meteor freak, most of those go insane, and she has acknowledged the possibility that this will happen to her. So that’s always a potential storyline. On a side note, going insane happens to be her worst fear. So here I rather unsubtly broke the fourth wall and had her cheerleading-and-trash-accepting-ness be because her “bosses,” AKA the writers, have blackmailed her into it, to explain why her demeanor with Kahn is different than with Clark, Lois and Jimmy.

*5. I am not making this up. Lois really does leave the DP and take her work to a bar instead. She reports they have an epic Happy Hour.

______________________________________________
This one is more wish fulfillment, it’s a way that the spoiler can be true and it’ll still be okay. Of course, it wouldn’t happen if Smallville ran for another million years [NOOOOOOOO!] but I can dream. And yeah, this is pretty much the complete opposite of Clark.

Lois: Hey! What are you doing here?
Clark: I took the job.
Lois: Really? Wow!
Clark: Yeah, I wanted to surprise you.
Lois: You did! This is going to be fun!
Clark: Yes. “Fun.”
Lois: You’ve finally moved up in life! Serving a greater purpose than being some farmboy!
Clark: Yeah, I was only giving the world a food supply.
Lois: Right! Now you’re working at the best newspaper in the country!
Clark: See, that’s why I took the job. I don’t feel it is the best newspaper in the country. Maybe it used to be, it seemed pretty good, even just a couple of years ago. Nowadays, the powers that be are doing anything they can to ruin it. Hiring lunkheads without experience or learning*, encouraging no standard of work. I want to make this place become someone’s dream job again. I want to track down exactly who is at the bottom of all this, and then we can have a little chat. They’re going to be sorry they ever took on this unlearned, inexperienced lunkhead.
Lois: *eyes glazed over* Huh?
Clark: Double surprise, bitch.

* “Lunkheads without experience or learning applies here to both Clark and Lois. Although the lack of educatation particually applies to Lois; she never even graduated high school. I can believe she could still get hired at The Inquisitor, but not one of the top newspapers in the US. And Clark was hired in a conventional manner, which makes me think the other applicants must have all been drug-addicted hobos, Paris Hilton, or submitted a form with a little smiley face fingerpainted on in human blood.

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The Happening’s mood ring tells me it’s feeling dismal yet pretentious.

July 6, 2008 at 6:50 am (movies) (, , )

Saw The Happening a couple of days ago. Warning to all; the trailers are much better than the movie, and since directing The Sixth Sense, M. Night made, in this order, Unbreakable, Signs, The Village, Lady In The Water. You seeing a pattern here, a downslide in quality? Yeah. Lists of the good and the bad after the jump.

 

Read the rest of this entry »

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Saturn Awards make a planet sized mistake.

July 2, 2008 at 2:58 am (tv misc) (, , )

Okay, just looked at the Saturn Award winners. Jennifer Love Hewitt won for her role in Ghost Whisperer. God fucking damn it, I watch Ghost Whisperer, and unless she has improved substantially in the gap between mid-Season 3 and where the States are at in the series, she sucks! Badly! They don’t even give her anything interesting to do, it’s the same old shit every episode, limiting any potential she might have hidden away. The camera will always linger on her supposed-to-be emoting face before the ad break or scene change and it’s never emoting! Ever! Half the reason I keep watching is because it’s so very funny the way she shrieks as a ghost does something threatening! Why the hell would they give her an award?

Now that’s out of my system, IMO the Saturn Awards usually get it right, but they are also capable of huge immense screw ups, much moreso than most other respectable awards. They nominated Superman Returns ten times and gave it the award five times including for Best Fantasy, they nominated Batman and Robin, which is my favourite superhero movie specifically because it is such ludicrous shit, and it got a bunch of Razzie nominations too. Now they’ve awarded JLH, who seems like a nice person otherwise, but really cannot act.

All we can do is hope they can try again and do better next year.

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