A very…interesting… theory about Jericho

February 26, 2008 at 12:29 pm (tv misc) (, , , )

Ooookay.  I found this hilariously ridiculous theory about Jericho. I’ve heard hilariously ridiculous theories before, but usually they’re  just sarcastic. This one was completely serious. You know what? It’s taking the title of the Most Hilariously Ridiculous Jericho Theory I Have Ever Heard. Be honoured, new theory. Be honoured.
In a response to someone else, the theorist decided that they didn’t understand the “j/h light thing.” The reason for this is that Heather is “homely.” Yeah, Homely=Dark doesn’t make sense to me either. But it does to our theorist, so lets move on. Okay, the comment about Heather being homely is one that has been posted many times, each time by, of course, our theorist. Believe it or not, it does have some sort of explanation. He thinks she’s homely because in Reconstruction, she ate the burger like she’s never eaten before. Which doesn’t really make sense either… But never mind! Moving on, because this is where the new Most Hilariously Ridiculous Jericho Theory I Have Ever Heard champion comes in. Seriously folks, I read it and was on my bed muffling my laughter in a pillow for literally ten minutes.
Now, millions of people saw Heather eat that burger like she’d never eaten before, and from what I’ve seen, what almost everyone got out of it was that she hadn’t had half-decent food in a while. We’ve heard how bad things are outside Jericho, after all. But without further ado, our theorist took it to mean that Heather is a bulimic and will toss said burger up later. Excuse me, I have to go laugh into the pillow again just writing that down.
I doubt there is a person here who will understand why this is conclusive evidence of bulimia, or why it is a better theory than “Heather’s been away and hasn’t had any good food for ages.” However, we don’t posess the brilliant detective mind of our theorist. I mean, this is the guy who uncovered the secret that Heather is a spy for New Bern! If we can’t trust him, who can we trust?
You know, it occured to me that many of you may want to hear his brilliant deduction first-hand. So I took the liberty of copying and pasting it over here. Educate yourselves upon these wise words:
I just don’t get this j/h light thing….that is about the dumbest thing they could come up with…..I mean what light….she looks homely in the ep that she was in….ate the burger like she has never eaten before….like she’s one of those chicks that eats and throws up later kinda chick….geez what do we have her Little Miss Fixit is a wreck and for sure a spy for new bern……
Oh my god. I just realised something. You know who else eats like they’ve never eaten before? Small children and teenage boys. It’s an international conspiracy of eating disorders. Thank god our heroic theorist exposed it to us. You know what, people? We should start another campaign, for him to get a medal. How else would we know of the secret plight that 90% of small children and teenage boys suffer through?
Folks, I hope this was as fun to read as it was to write. May we all pray that our theorist will keep churning out new theories for me to make fun of.


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