Fug you, ghosts!

January 26, 2008 at 6:40 pm (tv misc) (, )

Ghost Whisperer got fugged. How friggin’ awesome is that? And it really deserved it, too. Sure, TV shows often have outfits that are pretty bad. But just look at that shirt. And more importantly, those pants. They’re just so… wide! Terribly, horribly wide. And pleated. And bad. Maybe someone in the costuming department did it for a bet?

Dear hypothetical costuming department person

Is twenty bucks and a beer really worth temporarily blinding millions of innocent people and scarring them for life? You asshole.

Missbittens.

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Is it just me or does “student whisperer,” sound dirty?

January 23, 2008 at 3:09 pm (tv review) (, )

Ghost Whisperer review. 

I saw the description for an episode of Ghost Whisperer, and it said it woud be another episode about high school. Good sign! Also, Melinda will get involced in the high school’s little drama of gossip and romance. Better sign! I simply couldn’t wait to see how Melinda handles this one. It promised to be one of the most craptacular episodes yet.

 

Unfortunetly, that turned out not to be so, because she didn’t actually get personally involved so much, unlike last time. Not to mention it was one of the least Melinda-focused episodes I’ve seen yet. This show is more focused on one character than any show I’ve ever seen, but this particular episode was more about Ned, and he doesn’t bring the craptacular like Melinda does. But there was a little low-quality goodness, near the end there was cheesy inspirational music, and cheesy “touching,” lines from Melinda and the ghost. As a matter of fact, the ghost even said “I wanted her to change. But I was the one who needed to change.” Duuuude. Who smoked pot and decided to steal dialogue from after-school specials?

 

Ned was replaced by a different actor. He is now older, taller, hotter, sweeter, less selfish and less bratty. Seriously, it’s the total Ned makeover, and I like it. He’s such a nice guy now. He was being helpful whenever he could, with the ghost and at the shop. But so far it doesn’t feel contrived, like Melinda’s OTT kindness and helpfulness does sometimes. I think Ned’s my new fictional boyfriend. [I’m 16, so no, I’m not a cradle-stealer.] At one point he was wearing ¾ sleeves, which as it turns out look stupendously terrible on a guy, but it was only for one scene, so I can forgive him for that.

 

One scene I liked was when Delia was all weird as Ned told her how the ghost thing wrapped up, and went down to the basement. Ned follows her, and she says how proud she is of him, blahblahblahproudcakes. Delia: “Your sweet, beautiful neck. I used to kiss it when I put you to bed.” At this point I have to pause it, and laugh ‘till I cry. When I finally unpause it, Ned looks extremely weirded out, and who can blame him? Then it actually gets good as she tells him that was a second ago, she’s so happy he turned into such a great man, ect. Who knew that one scene could be so laughably, likably bad and then so good? And did Melinda’s shop always have a basement? I know it has had one in other episodes this season, but I cannot remember it in the first two seasons. Methinks they put it in so they could have the shop be the hidden entrance to the super secret town hidden under Grandview. Hmm.

 

An oddity this episode was that from what we saw, every one of the living kids we met was a kind and lovely person. The ghost was maybe not quite so lovely, but they very rarely are. Often they try to kill someone, because they’re “confused.” This guy didn’t try to kill anyone. He turned off the lights in the gym, wrote “34 + GF = DEATH on the school scoreboard, put a bat in a bat-lovers car, and then locked the door, not holding the locks down, so it took her about two extra seconds to scramble out of the car. This was his revenge to the people who killed him. After Melinda pissed him off, he got a whole lot of bats to swarm her for a few seconds, then taped her talking to “no one,” and sent it to a blogger. In short, this ghost was less menacing than Pushing Daisies.

 

The blogger he emailed it to was set up as some kind of stalker. I thought they’d already had that episode, but whatever. We know he’s a creep and a threat mostly because Melinda was acting so cold to him. Whatever, he figured out she talks to ghosts, he’s going to keep it a secret but he wants to call in the favour at some point. Now, if you were a guy, and a creepy stalkery guy, and Jennifer Love Hewitt owed you a favour, what way would you choose for her to repay her? Personally my answer would be the same as it is as a hopefully not creepy or stalkery girl: Never sing again. But I assume this asshole has never heard her sing. You get the idea. Melinda’s reaction should be funny to see.

 

And finally, a small sample of the stupid things Melinda did this episode.

Wore about five times as much eyeshadow as she should. She looked like a raccoon or something.

Heard a noise and decided to stop and wait to see what it was. In the middle of the road. She’s lucky it wasn’t a car.

Went off at Payne for having notes on her abilities. Because apparently someone is more likely to steal his notes – which happened – and get past the encryptions – which the thief couldn’t – and expose her publicly than someone she’s told – which happens every week – to expose her publicly.

Thought a touchdown is a basketball term. Apparently she’s has never watched sport, attended PE, been to a movie or watched TV.

Said that it was a bad idea for Ned to tell Lucy about her brother’s ghost without proof. Which isn’t stupid. No, the stupid part is that she then told Lucy about her brother’s ghost without proof, and she’s told someone about their dead loved one’s ghost without proof about a million times already, and next week she’ll tell someone about their dead loved one’s ghost without proof, I’ll bet.

Didn’t wash the dye out of her hair yet. It really looked so much better when it was a darker shade of brown.

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Enchanted review.

January 10, 2008 at 5:19 pm (movies) (, , , , )

Spoilers ahead.

There have been fairy tale spoofs for years, but now Disney has decided to join in by going the whole hog and shamelessly making fun of it’s own movies. It’s nice to see that they can have a sense of humour about themselves.

It starts as an animated archtypical fairy tale, with a pretty girl called Giselle singing to her animal friends about true loves kiss, then having a handsome prince  rescue her from a troll and decide to marry her the next day. And the prince has an evil witch stepmother and a best friend called Nathaniel who serves the evil stepmother. This bit was had the Disney fairy tale down to a tee, which can only be expected. It was quite enjoyable, if only because I knew they would soon be making fun of it all, but I did find it amusingly pathetic that Giselle was making a life-size model of some guy she’d never met.

Everything gets rather more exciting when the evil witch sends her to “a place where there are no happy endings,” which is otherwise known as New York. Heh. I particually liked it when some toothless old bum steals her tiara and toddles off with it cackling. And then she falls on McDreamy. Don’t we all wish we would fall on McDreamy?

McDreamy doesn’t want to just leave the “very confused,” lady there, so he takes her home instead. Then there’s a hilarious bit next morning when Giselle sees how untidy the place is and summons the New York vermi- er, wildlife, and they all tidy up the place as she sings the “Happy Working Song.” McDreamy: Not so happy to find New York wildlife in his apartment. Then McDreamy’s girlfriend Nancy [Idina Menzel] walks in to see the two in a seemingly intimate position, and storms off before he can explain. I’m sure that offscreen, Giselle was beaten by the tiny, ineffectual fists of a certain Meredith Grey, and then by a scrub nurse who just popped out of nowhere, and then glared at by Meredith’s little sister, all as a older redhead surgeon looks on and smirks superiorly because she got out of the ongoing melodrama that is McDreamy and found herself a solo guy to flirt with in another hospital.

Oh, and Giselle has made a pretty new dress for herself, out of curtains. Because princesses can always make beautiful dresses out of anything. But the spoof could also apply to Bratz, where they make like, totally hot outfits out of like, embarassing clown costumes in like, five minutes! Because of their passion for fashion! Tubular! Ugh. But yeah, Enchanted shows us all how ridiculous that concept is. Thankyou, Enchanted.

By this stage, Edward and Nathaniel have followed Giselle into NY, also taking Pip the squirrel, who has lost his power to speak. This leads to several games of charades where Pip, who has found out about Nathaniel’s treachery and the plan to kill the princess, keeps trying to act out a squirelly version of the plan to Edward, who always interprets it as being a compliment or profession of love. Poor Pip. He gets such a hard lot in this movie, and he just wants to help Giselle ‘cause she’s his friend.

Why was Giselle carrying a goldfish in her mouth at McDreamy’s workplace? Anyway, her strange behaviour gets McDreamy berated by his boss, so now he’s pissed.

Soon there’s an excellent song and dance number where a Jamaican band in a park [busking?] hears Giselle singing, picks up the song, and more and more people join in, until there’s about 100 people singing and dancing. It was fucking awesome.

Skipping ahead about 45 minutes, Edward has found Giselle, Nancy has forgiven McDreamy because she thinks he sent her a wreath of flowers via white doves [in reality Giselle did it for him, during the aforementioned park song.] But Giselle doesn’t want the full fairytale life any longer, and she and McDreamy are in love. Silently. And also they’re all at a medieval ball. For some reason, Giselle felt the need to get a store bought dress, which is less appropriate for a medieval ball and it’s not even as nice as the ones she made out of curtains. Whatever.

Oh, and the witch has decided to come finish off Giselle herself. She gets her alone, and tells her that taking a bite of the offered apple will take away her pain and memories of having to leave McDreamy and New York, and give her sweet dreams instead. Sounds like a long drug trip to me. Giselle bites the apple. Now that I really had a problem with. If Giselle is going to miss New York and McDreamy that badly, she should have spoken up. Instead she decided to lose her memory and sleep forever. It makes her look weak and unable to deal with any sort of problem. I would have preferred it if the witch offered, Giselle refused or even took too long deciding, and the witch just got impatient and more or less shoved it in her mouth. It wouldn’t have demeaned Giselle and it would have been funny.

So Edward and McDreamy notice Giselle has fainted, Nathaniel has a change of heart and reveals all to Edward, Edward disowns his stepmother, his stepmother cackles and says Giselle will be dead by midnight, and McDreamy realises that “true love’s kiss,” might wake Giselle up. Prince Edward tries several times, and of course fails, not being her true love anymore. McDreamy looks conflicted until Nancy tells him that it’s okay and to go ahead. Which, yeah. I know it would hurt Nancy, but for Christ’s sake McDreamy, Giselle is going to die if you don’t kiss her, you idiot. Also: Aww, Nancy’s kind of a sweetheart. So aaaanyway, McDreamy looks conflicted until Nancy tells him that it’s okay and to go ahead, and he sees that Meredith Grey and her little sister are distracted by their circling each other with scalpals in their hands, and the scrub nurse who popped out of nowhere is distracted by being caught in the middle of the circling, and that the hot redhead attending surgeon is looking at the Greys and the nurse and faking a smug superior smile as she pretends that her new guy is willing to commit to relationships and doesn’t have dead wife baggage. So McDreamy takes Nancy’s advice and goes ahead and kisses Giselle. Who wakes up, and the witch, not willing to be beaten quite that easily, turns into a dragon and carries McDreamy off and up a tower. Giselle goes a little bit Xena, grabs Edward’s sword and goes after them. She even climbs the tower. My inner feminist swells with pride at her transformation from damsel in distress to rescuing the damsel in distress, which is what the witch-dragon calls McDreamy. Hee. For some reason that suits him really well. And it suits Grey’s Anatomy McDreamy even more. Hee!

At the end of the movie, the witch-dragon has pulled a King-Kong by falling off and dying, Giselle is living with McDreamy and his daughter and running a dress shop, Nancy goes back to Fairy Tale Land with Prince Edward and marries him, Nathaniel stayed in the real world and wrote a very successful self-help book and poor Pip went back to Fairy Tale Land and also wrote a very successful book about his adventures. And they all lived happily ever after. The end.

 God, I love parodies. One of my favourite forms of comedy. As mentioned at the start of this review, Enchanted was a parody of all those Disney princess movies like this or this.  

And a bloody fine one it was too. A lot of that was due to the excellent work of Amy Adams [Giselle] and James Marsden [Prince Edward], who portrayed their roles perfectly. Patrick Dempsey [McDreamy, duh] wasn’t bad, but he didn’t get much of a challenge either. Idina Menzel also didn’t get any sigficant challenge, but she did well with what she had. Although I have to ask, why would they get a Tony Award winning big broadway star, put her in a musical, and not have her sing? It’s ridiculous. And disappointing.

But speaking of the music, it was great. “Happy Working Song,” was the funniest because of the visual humour, but overall I liked  “How Do You Know,” the best, which had a great song and also great visuals.

Seriously. Lovely. Movie. My brother refuses to see it because he doesn’t think it’s macho enough [here I roll my eyes and say “men,”], but it’s worth seeing even if you’re a member of the male population. There were plenty of guys there when I saw it, they laughed. Deal with it. So yeah, I thoroughly recommend it to both genders.

If you want to watch the trailer, you can find it here, though personally I don’t think it does the movie justice. It’s not on the scale of Bridge-to-Terabithia-trailer-not-doing-the-movie-it’s-advertising-justice or anything, it just could have been a little better. So don’t completely judge the movie by the trailer.

         

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