Smallville Knockouts! And other stats.

December 4, 2007 at 3:38 am (tv misc) ()

Not a review, but to start off I found this web page which has all these lists of Smallville things. Like, it lists everytime someone’s been knocked out, and how. It lists all the time’s one of the main characters has broken the law.  It lists how many times everyone’s died. Smallville tends to come up a bit short in the creativity and originality departments, so it’s rather entertaining to see it all written down. Some of the best bits:Lex is the king of knockouts, being knocked out 42 times so  far. Four of them were via Clark, twice via Chloe [and she was unarmed both times, hee], once via Lana and once via his own evil twin. Four more times were all in the same episode.

Lana is the queen of KO, coming in at 39.5 times. Only twice via Clark. But once was because she was wrapped in a cocoon and for one, the description is “Saw herself ugly after a lesbian kiss and had a mirror fall on her.” Ah, the wacky fun of Smallville.

Yes, they should both have pretty bad brain damage. But with Lana, it’s hard to tell the difference. With Lex… Well, this explains why he fell in love with Lana.

Clark racks up at 26. Man of Steel my a**. Like everyone else, a bunch of times were by his friends. But twice was via himself. Seriously.

MamaKent has been knocked out once by Clark, but twice by Chloe, whom wasn’t being posessed or controlled in any way either time. Once is also described as “Suffocated out by grain.” Grain!

Clark and Chloe have both died twice [technically, Chloe’s died three times, because it turned out she hadn’t, but the explanation they gave didn’t fit, so she should actually still be dead]. Lex has died four times. And Lana had died an unbelievable ELEVEN TIMES. Attention wh*re.

In one episode early in the series, Lex taught Lana some martial arts. She used them to beat up some sleazy guy and promptly forgot about them until she was mind-whammied and told to attack Chloe. There’s a nice list of all the times she should have used her skills but didn’t. Some of them are her getting kidnapped when she should had been able to kick the villain’s a**, some of them are of her watching someone try to murder one of her boyrfriends and doing nothing. I want a list of the same sort, but for Lois.

Lana hates Clark’s secrets and lies, so there’s a list of all the times she has had SECRETH! Or told LIETH! It’s quite a long list. Hypocrite.

If you want the link, here it is


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